History of Tom Jones, a Foundling by Henry Fielding
Chapter viii.
A receipt to regain the lost affections of a wife, which hath never
been known to fail in the most desperate cases.
The captain was made large amends for the unpleasant minutes which he
passed in the conversation of his wife (and which were as few as he
could contrive to make them), by the pleasant meditations he enjoyed
when alone.
These meditations were entirely employed on Mr Allworthy's fortune;
for, first, he exercised much thought in calculating, as well as he
could, the exact value of the whole: which calculations he often saw
occasion to alter in his own favour: and, secondly and chiefly, he
pleased himself with intended alterations in the house and gardens,
and in projecting many other schemes, as well for the improvement of
the estate as of the grandeur of the place: for this purpose he
applied himself to the studies of architecture and gardening, and read
over many books on both these subjects; for these sciences, indeed,
employed his whole time, and formed his only amusement. He at last
completed a most excellent plan: and very sorry we are, that it is not
in our power to present it to our reader, since even the luxury of the
present age, I believe, would hardly match it. It had, indeed, in a
superlative degree, the two principal ingredients which serve to
recommend all great and noble designs of this nature; for it required
an immoderate expense to execute, and a vast length of time to bring
it to any sort of perfection. The former of these, the immense wealth
of which the captain supposed Mr Allworthy possessed, and which he
thought himself sure of inheriting, promised very effectually to
supply; and the latter, the soundness of his own constitution, and his
time of life, which was only what is called middle-age, removed all
apprehension of his not living to accomplish.
Nothing was wanting to enable him to enter upon the immediate
execution of this plan, but the death of Mr Allworthy; in calculating
which he had employed much of his own algebra, besides purchasing
every book extant that treats of the value of lives, reversions, &c.
From all which he satisfied himself, that as he had every day a chance
of this happening, so had he more than an even chance of its happening
within a few years.
But while the captain was one day busied in deep contemplations of
this kind, one of the most unlucky as well as unseasonable accidents
happened to him. The utmost malice of Fortune could, indeed, have
contrived nothing so cruel, so mal-a-propos, so absolutely destructive
to all his schemes. In short, not to keep the reader in long suspense,
just at the very instant when his heart was exulting in meditations on
the happiness which would accrue to him by Mr Allworthy's death, he
himself--died of an apoplexy.
This unfortunately befel the captain as he was taking his evening walk
by himself, so that nobody was present to lend him any assistance, if
indeed, any assistance could have preserved him. He took, therefore,
measure of that proportion of soil which was now become adequate to
all his future purposes, and he lay dead on the ground, a great
(though not a living) example of the truth of that observation of
Horace:
_Tu secanda marmora
Locas sub ipsum funus; et sepulchri
Immemor, struis domos._
Which sentiment I shall thus give to the English reader: “You provide
the noblest materials for building, when a pickaxe and a spade are
only necessary: and build houses of five hundred by a hundred feet,
forgetting that of six by two.”
Chapters
- Chapter 1 Ch.1
- BOOK I -- CONTAINING AS MUCH OF THE BIRTH OF THE FOUNDLING AS IS Ch.2
- Chapter i -- The introduction to the work, or bill of fare to the Ch.3
- Chapter ii -- A short description of squire Allworthy, and a fuller Ch.4
- Chapter iii -- An odd accident which befel Mr Allworthy at his return Ch.5
- Chapter iv -- The reader's neck brought into danger by a description; Ch.6
- Chapter v -- Containing a few common matters, with a very uncommon Ch.7
- Chapter vi -- Mrs Deborah is introduced into the parish with a Ch.8
- Chapter vii -- Containing such grave matter, that the reader cannot Ch.9
- Chapter viii -- A dialogue between Mesdames Bridget and Deborah; Ch.10
- Chapter x -- The hospitality of Allworthy; with a short sketch of the Ch.11
- Chapter xi -- Containing many rules, and some examples, concerning Ch.12
- Chapter xii -- Containing what the reader may, perhaps, expect to find Ch.13
- Chapter xiii -- Which concludes the first book; with an instance of Ch.14
- BOOK II -- CONTAINING SCENES OF MATRIMONIAL FELICITY IN DIFFERENT Ch.15
- Chapter i -- Showing what kind of a history this is; what it is like, Ch.16
- Chapter ii -- Religious cautions against showing too much favour to Ch.17
- Chapter iii -- The description of a domestic government founded upon Ch.18
- Chapter iv -- Containing one of the most bloody battles, or rather Ch.19
- Chapter v -- Containing much matter to exercise the judgment and Ch.20
- Chapter vi -- The trial of Partridge, the schoolmaster, for Ch.21
- Chapter vii -- A short sketch of that felicity which prudent couples Ch.22
- Chapter viii -- A receipt to regain the lost affections of a wife, Ch.23
- Chapter ix -- A proof of the infallibility of the foregoing receipt, Ch.24
- BOOK III -- CONTAINING THE MOST MEMORABLE TRANSACTIONS WHICH PASSED IN Ch.25
- Chapter ii -- The heroe of this great history appears with very bad Ch.26
- Chapter iii -- The character of Mr Square the philosopher, and of Mr Ch.27
- Chapter iv. Ch.28
- Chapter v. -- The opinions of the divine and the philosopher Ch.29
- Chapter vi -- Containing a better reason still for the Ch.30
- Chapter vii -- In which the author himself makes his appearance on the Ch.31
- Chapter viii -- A childish incident, in which, however, is seen a Ch.32
- Chapter ix -- Containing an incident of a more heinous kind, with the Ch.33
- Chapter x -- In which Master Blifil and Jones appear in different Ch.34
- Chapter ii -- A short hint of what we can do in the sublime, and a Ch.35
- Chapter iii -- Wherein the history goes back to commemorate a trifling Ch.36
- Chapter iv -- Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some Ch.37
- Chapter vi -- An apology for the insensibility of Mr Jones to all the Ch.38
- Chapter viii -- A battle sung by the muse in the Homerican style, and Ch.39
- Chapter x -- A story told by Mr Supple, the curate. The penetration of Ch.40
- Chapter xi -- The narrow escape of Molly Seagrim, with some Ch.41
- Chapter xii -- Containing much clearer matters; but which flowed from Ch.42
- Chapter xiii -- A dreadful accident which befel Sophia. The gallant Ch.43
- Chapter xiv -- The arrival of a surgeon.--His operations, and a long Ch.44
- BOOK V -- CONTAINING A PORTION OF TIME SOMEWHAT LONGER THAN HALF A Ch.45
- Chapter i -- Of the SERIOUS in writing, and for what purpose it is Ch.46
- Chapter ii -- In which Mr Jones receives many friendly visits during Ch.47
- Chapter iii -- Which all who have no heart will think to contain much Ch.48
- Chapter iv -- A little chapter, in which is contained a little Ch.49
- Chapter vi -- By comparing which with the former, the reader may Ch.50
- Chapter ix -- Which, among other things, may serve as a comment on Ch.51
- Chapter x -- Showing the truth of many observations of Ovid, and of Ch.52
- Chapter xi -- In which a simile in Mr Pope's period of a mile Ch.53
- Chapter xii -- In which is seen a more moving spectacle than all the Ch.54
- Chapter ii -- The character of Mrs Western. Her great learning and Ch.55
- Chapter v -- In which is related what passed between Sophia and her Ch.56
- Chapter vi -- Containing a dialogue between Sophia and Mrs Honour, Ch.57
- Chapter vii -- A picture of formal courtship in miniature, as it Ch.58
- Chapter xi -- A short chapter; but which contains sufficient matter to Ch.59
- Chapter xiii -- The behaviour of Sophia on the present occasion; which Ch.60
- Chapter xiv -- A short chapter, containing a short dialogue between Ch.61
- Chapter ii -- Containing a conversation which Mr Jones had with Ch.62
- Chapter vii -- A strange resolution of Sophia, and a more strange Ch.63
- Chapter viii -- Containing scenes of altercation, of no very uncommon Ch.64
- Chapter ix -- The wise demeanour of Mr Western in the character of a Ch.65
- Chapter x -- Containing several matters, natural enough perhaps, but Ch.66
- Chapter xiii -- Containing the great address of the landlady, the Ch.67
- Chapter xiv -- A most dreadful chapter indeed; and which few readers Ch.68
- Chapter i -- A wonderful long chapter concerning the marvellous; being Ch.69
- Chapter iv -- In which is introduced one of the pleasantest barbers Ch.70
- Chapter vi -- In which more of the talents of Mr Benjamin will appear, Ch.71
- Chapter vii -- Containing better reasons than any which have yet Ch.72
- Chapter viii -- Jones arrives at Gloucester, and goes to the Bell; the Ch.73
- Chapter ix -- Containing several dialogues between Jones and Ch.74
- Chapter x -- In which our travellers meet with a very extraordinary Ch.75
- Chapter xi -- In which the Man of the Hill begins to relate his Ch.76
- Chapter xv -- A brief history of Europe; and a curious discourse Ch.77
- Chapter i -- Of those who lawfully may, and of those who may not, Ch.78
- Chapter ii -- Containing a very surprizing adventure indeed, which Mr Ch.79
- Chapter iii -- The arrival of Mr Jones with his lady at the inn; with Ch.80
- Chapter iv -- In which the arrival of a man of war puts a final end to Ch.81
- Chapter v -- An apology for all heroes who have good stomachs, with a Ch.82
- Chapter vi -- A friendly conversation in the kitchen, which had a very Ch.83
- Chapter vii -- Containing a fuller account of Mrs Waters, and by what Ch.84
- Chapter i -- Containing instructions very necessary to be perused by Ch.85
- Chapter ii -- Containing the arrival of an Irish gentleman, with very Ch.86
- Chapter iii -- A dialogue between the landlady and Susan the Ch.87
- Chapter iv -- Containing infallible nostrums for procuring universal Ch.88
- Chapter v -- Showing who the amiable lady, and her unamiable maid, Ch.89
- Chapter vi -- Containing, among other things, the ingenuity of Ch.90
- Chapter vii -- In which are concluded the adventures that happened at Ch.91
- Chapter ii -- The adventures which Sophia met with after her leaving Ch.92
- Chapter iii -- A very short chapter, in which however is a sun, a Ch.93
- Chapter vi -- In which the mistake of the landlord throws Sophia into Ch.94
- Chapter viii -- A dreadful alarm in the inn, with the arrival of an Ch.95
- Chapter ix -- The morning introduced in some pretty writing. A Ch.96
- Chapter x -- Containing a hint or two concerning virtue, and a few Ch.97
- Chapter i -- Showing what is to be deemed plagiarism in a modern Ch.98
- Chapter ii -- In which, though the squire doth not find his daughter, Ch.99
- Chapter iii -- The departure of Jones from Upton, with what passed Ch.100
- Chapter v -- Containing more adventures which Mr Jones and his Ch.101
- Chapter vi -- From which it may be inferred that the best things are Ch.102
- Chapter vii -- Containing a remark or two of our own and many more of Ch.103
- Chapter viii -- In which fortune seems to have been in a better humour Ch.104
- Chapter xi -- The disasters which befel Jones on his departure for Ch.105
- Chapter xii -- Relates that Mr Jones continued his journey, contrary Ch.106
- Chapter xiv -- What happened to Mr Jones in his journey from St Ch.107
- Chapter iii -- A project of Mrs Fitzpatrick, and her visit to Lady Ch.108
- Chapter v -- An adventure which happened to Mr Jones at his lodgings, Ch.109
- Chapter vi -- What arrived while the company were at breakfast, with Ch.110
- Chapter viii -- Containing a scene of distress, which will appear very Ch.111
- Chapter ix -- Which treats of matters of a very different kind from Ch.112
- Chapter x -- A chapter which, though short, may draw tears from some Ch.113
- Chapter i -- An essay to prove that an author will write the better Ch.114
- Chapter ii -- Containing letters and other matters which attend Ch.115
- Chapter iv -- Which we hope will be very attentively perused by young Ch.116
- Chapter vi -- Containing a scene which we doubt not will affect all Ch.117
- Chapter viii -- What passed between Jones and old Mr Nightingale; with Ch.118
- Chapter iv -- By which it will appear how dangerous an advocate a lady Ch.119
- Chapter v -- Containing some matters which may affect, and others Ch.120
- Chapter x -- Consisting partly of facts, and partly of observations Ch.121
- Chapter ii -- A whimsical adventure which befel the squire, with the Ch.122
- Chapter v -- In which Jones receives a letter from Sophia, and goes to Ch.123
- Chapter vii -- In which Mr Western pays a visit to his sister, in Ch.124
- Chapter iii -- The arrival of Mr Western, with some matters concerning Ch.125
- Chapter iii -- Allworthy visits old Nightingale; with a strange Ch.126
- Chapter xii -- Approaching still nearer to the end. Ch.127
- BOOK I. Ch.128
- Chapter i. Ch.129
- Chapter ii. Ch.130
- Chapter iii. Ch.131
- Chapter iv. Ch.132
- Chapter v. Ch.133
- Chapter vi. Ch.134
- Chapter vii. Ch.135
- Chapter viii. Ch.136
- Chapter ix. Ch.137
- Chapter x. Ch.138
- Chapter xi. Ch.139
- Chapter xii. Ch.140
- Chapter xiii. Ch.141
- BOOK II. Ch.142
- Chapter i. Ch.143
- Chapter ii. Ch.144
- Chapter iii. Ch.145
- Chapter iv. Ch.146
- Chapter v. Ch.147
- Chapter vi. Ch.148
- Chapter vii. Ch.149
- Chapter viii. Ch.150
- Chapter ix. Ch.151
- BOOK III. Ch.152
- Chapter i. Ch.153
- Chapter ii. Ch.154
- Chapter iii. Ch.155
- Chapter iv. Ch.156
- Chapter v. Ch.157
- Chapter vi. Ch.158
- Chapter vii. Ch.159
- Chapter viii. Ch.160
- Chapter ix. Ch.161
- Chapter x. Ch.162
- BOOK IV. Ch.163
- Chapter i. Ch.164
- Chapter ii. Ch.165
- Chapter iii. Ch.166
- Chapter iv. Ch.167
- Chapter v. Ch.168
- Chapter vi. Ch.169
- Chapter vii. Ch.170
- Chapter viii. Ch.171
- Chapter ix. Ch.172
- Chapter x. Ch.173
- Chapter xi. Ch.174
- Chapter xii. Ch.175
- Chapter xiii. Ch.176
- Chapter xiv. Ch.177
- BOOK V. Ch.178
- Chapter i. Ch.179
- Chapter ii. Ch.180
- Chapter iii. Ch.181
- Chapter iv. Ch.182
- Chapter v. Ch.183
- Chapter vi. Ch.184
- Chapter vii. Ch.185
- Chapter viii. Ch.186
- Chapter ix. Ch.187
- Chapter x. Ch.188
- Chapter xi. Ch.189
- Chapter xii. Ch.190
- BOOK VI. Ch.191
- Chapter i. Ch.192
- Chapter ii. Ch.193
- Chapter iii. Ch.194
- Chapter iv. Ch.195
- Chapter v. Ch.196
- Chapter vi. Ch.197
- Chapter vii. Ch.198
- Chapter viii. Ch.199
- Chapter ix. Ch.200
- Chapter x. Ch.201
- Chapter xi. Ch.202
- Chapter xii. Ch.203
- Chapter xiii. Ch.204
- Chapter xiv. Ch.205
- BOOK VII. Ch.206
- Chapter i. Ch.207
- Chapter ii. Ch.208
- Chapter iii. Ch.209
- Chapter iv. Ch.210
- Chapter v. Ch.211
- Chapter vi. Ch.212
- Chapter vii. Ch.213
- Chapter viii. Ch.214
- Chapter ix. Ch.215
- Chapter x. Ch.216
- Chapter xi. Ch.217
- Chapter xii. Ch.218
- Chapter xiii. Ch.219
- Chapter xiv. Ch.220
- Chapter xv. Ch.221
- BOOK VIII. Ch.222
- Chapter i. Ch.223
- Chapter ii. Ch.224
- Chapter iii. Ch.225
- Chapter iv. Ch.226
- Chapter v. Ch.227
- Chapter vi. Ch.228
- Chapter vii. Ch.229
- Chapter viii. Ch.230
- Chapter ix. Ch.231
- Chapter x. Ch.232
- Chapter xi. Ch.233
- 1657. My father was one of those whom they call gentlemen farmers. He Ch.234
- Chapter xii. Ch.235
- Chapter xiii. Ch.236
- Chapter xiv. Ch.237
- Chapter xv. Ch.238
- BOOK IX. Ch.239
- Chapter i. Ch.240
- Chapter ii. Ch.241
- Chapter iii. Ch.242
- Chapter iv. Ch.243
- Chapter v. Ch.244
- Chapter vi. Ch.245
- Chapter vii. Ch.246
- BOOK X. Ch.247
- Chapter i. Ch.248
- Chapter ii. Ch.249
- Chapter iii. Ch.250
- Chapter iv. Ch.251
- Chapter v. Ch.252
- Chapter vi. Ch.253
- Chapter vii. Ch.254
- Chapter viii. Ch.255
- Chapter ix. Ch.256
- BOOK XI. Ch.257
- Chapter i. Ch.258
- Chapter ii. Ch.259
- Chapter iii. Ch.260
- Chapter iv. Ch.261
- Chapter v. Ch.262
- Chapter vi. Ch.263
- Chapter vii. Ch.264
- Chapter viii. Ch.265
- Chapter ix. Ch.266
- Chapter x. Ch.267
- BOOK XII. Ch.268
- Chapter i. Ch.269
- Chapter ii. Ch.270
- Chapter iii. Ch.271
- Chapter iv. Ch.272
- Chapter v. Ch.273
- Chapter vi. Ch.274
- Chapter vii. Ch.275
- Chapter viii. Ch.276
- Chapter ix. Ch.277
- Chapter x. Ch.278
- Chapter xi. Ch.279
- Chapter xii. Ch.280
- Chapter xiii. Ch.281
- Chapter xiv. Ch.282
- BOOK XIII. Ch.283
- Chapter i. Ch.284
- Chapter ii. Ch.285
- Chapter iii. Ch.286
- Chapter iv. Ch.287
- Chapter v. Ch.288
- Chapter vi. Ch.289
- Chapter vii. Ch.290
- Chapter viii. Ch.291
- Chapter ix. Ch.292
- Chapter x. Ch.293
- Chapter xi. Ch.294
- Chapter xii. Ch.295
- BOOK XIV. Ch.296
- Chapter i. Ch.297
- Chapter ii. Ch.298
- Chapter iii. Ch.299
- introduction, began the following speech:--“I am very sorry, sir, to Ch.300
- Chapter iv. Ch.301
- Chapter v. Ch.302
- Chapter vi. Ch.303
- Chapter vii. Ch.304
- Chapter viii. Ch.305
- Chapter ix. Ch.306
- Chapter x. Ch.307
- BOOK XV. Ch.308
- Chapter i. Ch.309
- Chapter ii. Ch.310
- Chapter iii. Ch.311
- Chapter iv. Ch.312
- Chapter v. Ch.313
- Chapter vi. Ch.314
- Chapter vii. Ch.315
- Chapter viii. Ch.316
- Chapter ix. Ch.317
- Chapter x. Ch.318
- Chapter xi. Ch.319
- Chapter xii. Ch.320
- BOOK XVI. Ch.321
- Chapter i. Ch.322
- Chapter ii. Ch.323
- Chapter iii. Ch.324
- Chapter iv. Ch.325
- Chapter v. Ch.326
- Chapter vi. Ch.327
- Chapter vii. Ch.328
- Chapter viii. Ch.329
- Chapter ix. Ch.330
- Chapter x. Ch.331
- BOOK XVII. Ch.332
- Chapter i. Ch.333
- Chapter ii. Ch.334
- Chapter iii. Ch.335
- Chapter iv. Ch.336
- Chapter v. Ch.337
- Chapter vi. Ch.338
- Chapter vii. Ch.339
- Chapter viii. Ch.340
- Chapter ix. Ch.341
- BOOK XVIII. Ch.342
- Chapter i. Ch.343
- Chapter ii. Ch.344
- Chapter iii. Ch.345
- Chapter iv. Ch.346
- Chapter v. Ch.347
- Chapter vi. Ch.348
- Chapter vii. Ch.349
- Chapter viii. Ch.350
- Chapter ix. Ch.351
- Chapter x. Ch.352
- Chapter xi. Ch.353
- Chapter xii. Ch.354