One Thousand Ways to Make Money by Page Fox

STRANGE WAYS OF MAKING MONEY. A Thousand Ways to Make a Living--The Humbug of Great Names--The Mania for Old and Rare Things--The “Relic” Manufacture--The “Imitation Enterprise”--The “Box Office” Clique--The “Cure” Fad--The “Fake” News Agency--The Museum “Freak”--The “Treasure” Excitements--The “Literary” Bureau--The “Watered” Stock. There are ways of making money that lie so far out of the ordinary channels as to warrant this chapter. Some of them are only strange because they are new, as the telephone and the wood pulp were strange a generation ago. Others, being decidedly odd in themselves, will doubtless always be pursued only by a few, and considered by the many to be curious ways of making a living. Success is easy when once you succeed. This is the case with goods which have achieved a name. Frequently the founder of the name is bankrupt, retired or dead; but the goods continue to be manufactured and sold under the original trade-mark. Countless thousands of dollars are paid every year for shoes, hats, hardware, groceries, and innumerable other articles, at rates above the average price when the goods are not a farthing better. The deluded buyers are simply paying for a name. Others have a mania for the collection of all kinds of bric-à-brac--old coins and rare books are seized and hoarded as eagerly as if made of gold. This mania is harmless in itself, and gives its possessors no doubt much pleasure, but they are made the prey of Shylocks who carry on a regular trade of manufacturing “old” articles. So also with the “relic” craze. There are actually manufactories where relics are made. Conscienceless persons take advantage of the curiosity and piety of travelers to palm off all sorts of “relics” upon them at preposterous prices. Then there are the limitless imitations that are on the market. Some of them, such as patent medicines, brands of groceries, oleomargarine, etc., are imitations pure and simple; others are adulterations with more or less of the genuine. So vast and profitable are these methods of deception that the government has been compelled to interfere to protect its citizens from fraud. The box-office clique is only a less pernicious, but equally barefaced, means of getting money. When a Bernhardt or an Irving is to perform, an announcement is made that the box-office will be open at 9 o’clock on a certain morning, as early as 10, or even 6, on the previous evening you will see a solitary man wend his way to the theater and silently square his back against the door. In time he is followed by another, and yet another, so that by midnight perhaps a dozen or twenty of these grim-faced men are lined against the wall. Not one of them has the slightest idea of seeing the play. It is simply their way of earning a living. For the next morning they will sell their places in line to the highest bidders. Of the “cure” faddists there number is legion. We do not mean the makers of patent medicines, of which we have treated elsewhere, but the men who profess to believe they have some unique and original way of ridding mankind of evil. Thus we have the gold cure, the barefoot cure, the mind cure, the faith cure, the cold water cure, and the hot water cure--in fact the whole great family of ’pathies. Many of these curists no doubt are sincere, but whether so or not, they have reaped large sums of money. Equally industrious is the “fake” news agency. There are agencies that manufacture news to order. Papers, they reason, must have news. If there is any subject concerning which the public is eager to read, and for any reason the reporters cannot give the facts, the “fake” news agency is a welcome resort. These bogus news agents are paid a certain amount a “stick” for their false news. Museum “freaks” too, are manufactured to order, and sometimes are made beforehand in anticipation of a market. “Treasure” enthusiasts are not quite as common now as formerly, and yet the hot Klondike fever is but a “Kid’s Buried Treasure” under another name, and on a mammoth scale. Of the 100 who attempt to get to Dawson City, seventy-five will reach the place, fifty will earn a bare living under all manner of hardships; twenty-five will make about the same as if they had stayed at home; ten will bring back a $100 worth of dust; three will do tolerably well, and one will get rich. The “literary bureau” is a more ingenious means to make a living. A set of bright young men advertise that for a “consideration” they will send a sermon, lecture, address, or after-dinner speech, to any person who may suddenly find himself called upon when unprepared. Of the “watered” stock and other incorporated swindles, almost every investor has purchased his experience at a dear rate. This is a method of increasing one’s capital stock in a company without the contribution of any new funds, and it is one of the most common of frauds. These are but a few of the many curious and ingenious ways by which people attempt to make a living. In many cases, especially the last-named, there is no doubt that the promoters of these enterprises often do get rich at the expense of the public. Other strange ways of making a living are the catching of butterflies or canary birds at a penny apiece, and the sifting of ashes and collecting of cinders. In London sand is sold on the street for scouring and as gravel for birds. Then there is “the curiosity shop.” In Genoa, there are marriage brokers who have a list of names of marriageable girls, divided into different classes, with an account of the fortunes, personal attraction, etc., of each. They charge two to three per cent. commission on a contract. In Munich there are female bill posters, and in Paris there are women who make a living by letting out chairs on the street. Also, in the same city, men are hired to cry the rate of exchange. Then there are the men who gather old clothes, and the street sweepers. There are 6,000 rag gatherers in Paris. Then there are the refuse cleaners, and the glass-eye makers, the latter furnishing you with a crystal eyeball at rates from $10 to $20 when the physicians and oculists charge $60 or $70 for similar services. Then there are postage stamp gatherers and chair menders. In fact the ways of making a living are legion. We formulate a few of the best of this class: